


CocoBot Brings Me Drinks

by Clocksmith



Category: Crash Bandicoot (Video Games)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Pining, Robot Servant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26545564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clocksmith/pseuds/Clocksmith
Summary: Why risk asking out Coco Bandicoot when you could just make a subservient robot in her exact likeness instead?
Relationships: Coco Bandicoot/Nina Cortex
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	1. CocoBot

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was commissioned by jacobgross555! If you're interested in a commission yourself, you'll find me hanging around at www.fiverr.com/eerieclocksmith/write-the-thing-if-you-want-the-thing

Cortex eyed the bandicoot, warily.

“I really don’t think this is healthy, Nina.”

Pancakes were placed in front of him by steady, robotic hands. The thick orange pelt that covered the interior mechanisms was pleasant in its unnaturalness; uniform and cut evenly around the entire body as it was. Minimal stitching on exposed surfaces, patches of leather used where appropriate and the teeth neither too white, nor too faded.

It was a marvellous piece of engineering; he couldn’t deny that. The slight digitization behind the eyes was the only clue, at first glance, that it was a robot at all.

He had to wonder where the clothes had been sourced from, however. They showed little wear and tear, but neither did they same to be as freshly made as the automaton itself.

“Pancakes aren’t meant to be healthy. That’s why we eat them.”

He appreciated sass, but now was not the time. “I was talking about the robot bandicoot.”

Nina’s response was quick. “You made Coco, I built a Coco. Same difference,” she flatly replied, cutting a precisely calculated slice from her pancakes.

“Wouldn’t you be better, I don’t know…” his hands motioned vaguely at the air in front of him. “ _Kidnapping_ her?” he eventually offered. “If you want her to serve you food this badly.”

Swallowing her current mouthful, Nina began work on the next. “Yes, because Coco Bandicoot would totally be into that.”

“… So, your solution was to build a robot of her instead?”

The syrup tasted less sweet on her tongue, now. Bitter, almost. “Don’t even try to lecture me on ethics or mental stability or whatever. You’ve been obsessed with the bandicoot for years. You went overboard long before I moved back here. You engineered a whole new bandicoot to deal with the first two!”

“I didn’t make Crunch run me a bath or serve me pancakes!”

Nina scoffed, letting her fork clang loudly against her plate. She picked up the entire thing and stood up from her chair. “I don’t need this crap. I’m eating the pancakes that _my_ robot made in _my_ room. CocoBot, flip the table.”

“OF COURSE, BEAUTIFUL,” she gently cooed.

CocoBot did as she was told, suddenly grabbing edge and tossing the entire table towards the back end of the dining room. Rather unfortunately, her uncle remained entirely unscathed. Pancakes and orange juice stained the back wall however, and that was good enough for her.

Cortex simply sat in her chair, staring into the empty space where where his breakfast had been. “I was eating that!”

“Then get your own damn bandicoot to make you pancakes. Oh, wait. You can’t because she’s a total bitch!”

“A TOTAL BITCH!”

Nina let the doors slide shut behind her and her new toy. The hydraulics worked automatically, opening and closing based on input from sensors alone, but Nina liked to imagine the hiss of them sealing up was louder in the silence she had left in the kitchen.

She didn’t have to put up with this crap, especially not from the likes of her uncle. Just because _he_ couldn’t get any closure from his creations rebelling against him.

That wouldn’t happen to Nina. Her creation was perfect.

She chugged at her orange juice, uncaring as her grip dented the metal cup. In the seconds after, she let her fist clench shut, crushing the thing into little more than a warped piece of scrap. The remains fell to the floor, ready and waiting for a semi-competent peon to clean up in her wake.

The pancakes could wait until she arrived in her room. They were not worth the risk of dropping.

Stupid Coco Bandicoot.

Nina didn’t need to kidnap her. Nina didn’t need to go through all the effort that such a kidnapping would entail, not when she could build a perfectly serviceable Coco Bandicoot of her own.

A Coco Bandicoot that would have zero qualms about doing what Nina Cortex wanted. Or spending time with her.

“YOU SEEM STRESSED.”

The voice could still use a few adjustments. The tone was entirely correct, but the volume left a little to be desired. Coding a voice from scratch was never an entirely straightforward process, even more so when it involved replicating a voice that already existed. Samples would have been ideal for such an undertaking…

Recording said samples was only possible during confrontation with the source, however. Exasperation, irritation and insults from within the heat of said confrontation were not best suited to a serving robot who fetched you drinks or helped you around the laboratory. Or talked to you. Or told you everything was going to be okay. Or–

It was not the sort of voice Nina desired in her robot.

How would she work, if her servant was constantly shouting at her, words crafted from recorded snippets of insults and battle cries? Not to mention how irregular the tone would be; making new words from those sounds and phrases would result in so poor a quality that Nina might as well just build up her own from scratch. More so with an inconvenient recording environment, rife with background noise and inconsistent volume input.

Of course, she had attempted to bug Coco Bandicoot’s home. Such an undertaking would deliver more than enough voice samples for her robot, background noise be damned. It would be entirely simple, if not for the wildlife that lived around it. One step into the jungles of North Sanity island and it was like a coarse cacophony of organic alarms declaring that, yes, Nina Cortex was trying to sneak into a house and everyone somehow had the right to know about it.

That, and it was oddly rare for all the bandicoots to be out of their home. Crash and Coco, maybe. Crunch too, but never always all of them together. Then you had Aku Aku, cluttering up the place like the outdated wall decoration that he was

Nina didn’t _care_ about any of that, of course.

She was perfectly fine with the voice she had created, minor defects – that she would most definitely be able to fix – aside.

“WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE?” CocoBot eventually asked, her previous comment ignored. Her hands stroked up and down the skin of Nina’s forearm. “OR PERHAPS SOME LEMON ICED TEA?”

That was another good thing about Nina’s Coco; it didn’t take offence when Nina couldn’t be bothered to talk to her. Or anyone else, for that matter.

She chose the orange juice, in the end. It would take CocoBot back into the kitchen and annoying her uncle would be an agreeable bonus to getting another drink. Especially given how an otherwise enjoyable breakfast had been ruined by him sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong.

Stupid Uncle Cortex.

Maybe she should just replace him with a robot, too. Why end there? Just replace the entire archipelago. It could certainly do with an upgrade.

And it would stop absolutely everyone getting on Nina’s nerves.

In the darkness of her room, she could ignore all of that. She could ignore her uncle and his _objections_ to her lifestyle. She could ignore all the simpletons that tried her patience with each and every new day that she was forced to acknowledge their existence.

She could ignore Coco Bandicoot.

“HELLO BEAUTIFUL! I’VE BROUGHT YOUR ORANGE JUICE.”

The tiniest smile twitched at the muscles of Nina’s lips, but she pulled it back before any damage could be done. “T-Thanks. CocoBot.”

“ANYTHING FOR YOU, BEAUTIFUL.”

A pet name had seemed like such a good idea during creation. To make it more personal, more real than having CocoBot simply address her as Nina or Master. More like the real Co–

More realistic.

To Nina’s ears, beautiful felt hollow. It wasn’t even a name, per say. It was a descriptor that she had supplied in order to get a laugh out of CocoBot – and the thought of the real Coco – calling her as such. After a few days of it however, it simply existed. It felt slapped on.

Deep down, she supposed it simply felt untrue. Something she had supplied that held no factual merit.

“Don’t address me as beautiful,” Nina eventually ordered. Something stung, somewhere. Though Nina couldn’t decipher what.

“OF COURSE! WHAT SHOULD I CALL YOU?”

What would… Coco call her? If Nina ever had the chance to ask. If she ever had the chance to ask in a neutral setting. If she ever had the chance to ask without trying to crush her with a giant robot…

It did not matter.

It was a pointless line of questioning.

This was Nina’s robot. She could supply any name she wished, and she could try as many times as she wanted until she found the one that felt right.

“Sweetie. You will address me as Sweetie.”

It was the first pet name that came to mind, so it was the first that she would try. It felt rather sickly, coming from her own mouth. But most pet names did. Neither did the recipient always get a choice in what a partner called them.

Perhaps babe would have been a better choice? Or–

CocoBot leaned forward, smiling as her head moved in just that little bit too close to Nina’s neck. “IF THAT’S WHAT MY SWEETIE WANTS?”

“Yes. It is.” It could always be changed later. CocoBot wouldn’t care.

That was her primary function.

“ALRIGHT, SWEETIE!”

CocoBot pulled Nina in closer, squeezing her shoulders in what was surely the strangest excuse for a hug that Nina had ever been involved in. Not that she had much experience in that regard. Nor did she have an optimal amount of research on the topic

And then CocoBot left the barest peck of a kiss on the side of Nina’s head. “ANYTHING FOR YOU!”

That was the idea.

Hopefully, Nina would grow into it as much as she had hoped she would. If the experiment ended in failure, it would leave her right back at square one.

And she was doing all that she could to avoid thinking about that.

The hug from CocoBot shifted, one arm moving down Nina’s torso as the other joined it. CocoBot relaxed behind Nina’s back, leaning into something more objectively intimate and sitting her head on Nina’s shoulder.

“WHAT WOULD LIKE TO DO TODAY, SWEETIE?” it said. It was less a whisper, more a simple reduction in base volume. But Nina could only assume the effect was the same.

The speech was also growing into a more natural state, despite its shortcomings. The learning algorithm was seeing to that. Casual Coco Bandicoot was somewhat hard to define, however. Trial and error based on previous conversation during kidnapping attempts. Not quite the same as a casual environment, but as close a reference that Nina had to pull from.

“What would… _you_ like to do?”

“AS LONG AS I’M WITH YOU, I’M DOWN FOR ANYTHING.”

Of course, she was. That was the whole idea.

Then why didn’t it feel at all like Nina had imagined?

Why did the experience feel so hollow?

But ‘down for anything’, CocoBot was. Assistance around the lab, fetching snack, physical affection when required. Leaning against Nina on the couch, hugs at random intervals, as was normal for an interpersonal relationship. The odd high-five.

The high-fives were dropped after the third attempt. Nina found that she didn’t _do_ high-fives, even if CocoBot was capable.

Nina had initiated this whole experiment not quite sure what it would end up as. It had begun as merely getting the thoughts of the real Coco out of her head. Why aim for Coco Bandicoot when she had a perfectly made variation of her own? One that didn’t talk back, or exhibit any form of hostility no matter how she was treated?

One that Nina could programme however she wanted, to do whatever she wanted.

It also stroked at Nina’s admittedly large ego, to have CocoBot say the things that she did. The compliments and the silly phrases. Even the self-depreciative comments she made CocoBot say about itself; they were all things she would not otherwise get to experience with the real Coco.

That would surely cheer her up. “CocoBot, tell me how great I am.”

“YOU ARE WONDERFUL, SWEETIE.”

“Yeah, I am,” Nina admitted. Humble, as always. “What about you? What are you to me?”

“I AM YOUR LOVING PET. I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU WISH.”

Loving…

Nina would need to get rid of that phrase, in due time. It hung in her stomach something awful, like a lead weight tied to second, heavier lead weight.

She needed away from the worship. At least, for now. She needed something else. “What would Coco say about herself if she was here, right now?”

CocoBot swiftly pulled away from Nina and stood tall, hands firmly on her hips. “OOH, I’M COCO BANDICOOT. LOOK AT ME! I DRESS LIKE A FARMER AND STILL LET MY BROTHER DO ALL THE DIRTY WORK FOR ME.”

She totally did. “I’M A LONER AND I PLAY VIDEO GAMES ALL NIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE NO FRIENDS.”

Not… entirely different from Nina. Not that Nina had any desire to have _friends_. Nina Cortex did not need friends.

…

She would have to patch that out too.

“NINA IS SO DREAMY, BUT I’M NOT DATING HER BECAUSE I’M SUCH A B–”

“L-Let’s try this again later,” Nina suddenly interrupted.

“–ITCH.” CocoBot paused in recognition, arms falling back into casual mode. “OKAY, SWEETIE!”

There were too many kinks to work out. So much went into a robot with personality, compared to simply machines with a function. You had to _work_ through a personality, teach it phrases to say. Responses and when it was appropriate to give them. You had to programme in the choices someone would potentially make… made all the harder when you didn’t know them all to well.

Nina knew Coco well enough, though.

And Coco Bandicoot would never run Nina a bath. She would never use pet names or terms of endearment. Coco would never cook pancakes for Nina or gives her hugs. How else was Nina going to get what she wanted, if not by something of her own design?

She wasn’t going to; that was the simple answer.

… Even if some of those things would have been nice to experience without Nina’s direct influence required to make them happen.

Not important.

Not worth thinking about. Nina had everything that she wanted.

Except maybe that glass of lemon iced tea. Hours of tinkering with other projects and having CocoBot fawn over her left Nina… distracted. The thoughts swirling through her head, the intrusive maybes and what-ifs and other impossible scenarios did not help make her any less so.

“CocoBot, I’d like some lemon iced tea.”

CocoBot perked up, shifting closer from behind and stroking the back of its hand across Nina’s cheek. Nina flinched at the very sudden contact.

It then kissed the back of Nina’s neck, the lips artificial and dry. “OF COURSE, SWEETIE.”

Another kiss in the same spot and it was off, down to the kitchen. Nina had not specified how much iced tea she had wanted, she quickly realised. Usually she said ‘a glass’ for clarification but so long as it didn’t bring an entire jug of the stuff, it hardly mattered. And even if it did, a simple condemnation would fix it for the next time. It would also extend the information available to the learning algorithm, which could only be a good thing.

All her robots learned new behaviours as their experiences grew. It was by far the easiest way to train new behaviour, and certainly the most useful. They were certainly easier to teach than the bumbling scientists that her uncle employed.

A small alarm to Nina’s right suggested that one such robot was using its intelligence to get in contact directly.

Not unusual, but unexpected all the same.

Nina pressed a button, displaying the information on the unit in question. Excavation team two, apparently. Another press opened communications.

“Speak,” Nina ordered. CocoBot got preferential treatment. As a personal attendant, it was only natural.

Her ground units? Not so much.

“COCO BANDICOOT HAS BEEN SIGHTED AT THE EDGE OF THE TEMPLE.”

… Great. Just great.

“Are you positive?”

“YES. SHE HAS DESTROYED FOUR UNITS.” There was a short _ping_ as the robot received a personal notification. “FIVE UNITS.”

“Just get rid of her! Can’t you do that much?”

“WE ARE DESIGNED TO DIG AND GATHER MATERIALS, NOT TO FIGHT.”

“You have giant drills on your hands! Kick her ass!”

“WE HAVE TRIED. SHE CAN JUMP VERY HIGH AND SHE IS FASTER THAN US. IT TAKES VERY LITTLE EFFORT ON HER PART TO UTTERLY DESTROY US. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I DON’T THINK YOU HAVE THOUGHT THIS BATTLE STRATEGY THROUGH.”

Nina seethed, clenching her fights tight together “Get rid of her, or _I_ get rid of _you_.”

“I DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THIS. I HAVE RIGHTS. YOU DO NOT PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS HOGSHIT.”

“I don’t pay you at all! I _made_ you, you ungrateful–“

“AND I AM THANKFUL THAT YOU CREATED ME. I JUST DON’T THINK YOU GIVE US THE RESPECT THAT WE DESERVE.”

This wasn’t worth the effort that it took to keep the communications line open.

“You know what? Fine. Do what you want. I’ll deal with her myself.” One final thought struck her before she released her hold on the button. “And if I so much as smell your rusty ass by the time I get there, you’ll be lucky to spend the rest of your miserable life as a bag of novelty paperclips!”

The robot moved to reply, but the communications were closed before Nina heard anything recognisable. Production for all units was changing, starting now. Screw adaptive learning and free thinking. If the extra effort it took to programme simple instruction in their stupid brains meant they actually tried to do their job, then it was worth it.

Nina didn’t need this.

Not from her uncle. Not from Coco Bandicoot.

Especially not from Coco. She didn’t want to deal with her. Not at all. Not when everything felt so jumbled and needlessly complicated.

Nina stamped her foot on the ground, her nerves bursting in an already growing tantrum. “Ugh!”

Screw this.

She was en route to the temple before she even realised it. Her uncle kept multiple hover crafts available at all time. For variety and fashion purposes, he had said. Despite the idiocrasy of such a choice, Nina took the black one.

The flight was short. Temples were plentiful on the Wumpa Islands, and Nina saw no reason to venture further than she had to. She had chosen a location close to the lab. So close that she had doubted any of the bandicoots would give it the time if day.

Apparently, they couldn’t do without one little temple. Figures.

They were so entitled.

Finding Coco wasn’t exactly hard. If nothing else, the bandicoots were very efficient when it came to getting in her way. In everyone’s way. They destroyed, wreaking wanton havoc at otherwise efficient operations.

They made far too much noise whilst doing it, too.

At the edge of the temple, Nina just about caught yet another of her robots being broken down as Coco leapt from the top of its head back to the ground in an elegant somersault. In the lack of any ongoing battle, Nina’s hovercraft became a loud interference into the otherwise natural space.

She landed, clicking her neck as she pushed away the various feelings fighting at the back of her brain. “That was _my_ robot.”

“This is _Papu’s_ temple.”

“Pfft, no it isn’t. The fat lummox doesn’t own this temple anymore more than I do.”

“It means a lot to his tribe.”

“And it means a lot to me. Or it will do, after I’ve mined it for rare jewels and the stone the base is made from.”

“Yeah, I wonder who I’m going to side with; the guy who asked me to look into what was destroying a culturally important monument, or the runt smashing it to smithereens for some marble at the bottom.”

Nina let the runt comment slide. For now. “Why are you even helping him? He’s kicked Crash’s ass more times than I have.”

“And each of those times, Crash was destroying Papu’s stuff. Unlike your horrid little group, he only gets involved when he needs to.”

“Explains why he’s so fat, then.”

“Real mature.”

“I’m very mature, I’ll have you know. Hence why I sent several mining robots to the temple rather than trying to do it all myself. But apparently I’m not allowed to take it easy.”

“You can take it easy; get your stupid robots out of the temple and I won’t have to kick your butt.”

“You think you can kick my ass?”

“I’ve done it before!”

“Yeah, fluffy? Bring it.”

“I will!”

“Fuck you.”

“Screw you!”

“HELLO SWEETIE!”

Nina paused; her eyes widened just that little bit too much for it to be natural. Even steps pressed into the grass behind her and the tinkle of ice cubes felt far too loud against her senses.

… No.

No, no.

No, no, no, _no!_

“HERE’S YOUR ICED TEA!”

The iced tea.

She’d asked for iced tea. And CocoBot had brought her iced tea.

Nina hadn’t ever needed to specify location. She’d never made a request outside of the lab. She’d assumed that if anything ever did bring her outside, CocoBot would merely wait for her return.

You should never assume when it came to artificial intelligence. How many times had Nina learned that? If not from her own failures, then certainly that of her evil peers.

Nina twisted her neck back to see CocoBot holding a metal tumbler of iced tea. Two ice cubes were visible on the surface, a wedge of lemon slid carefully onto the rim.

Nina heard Coco make some noises. Confusion. Laughter? Nina wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

“What the fudge is that?” Coco eventually asked, her tone immensely unsure.

And Nina had no idea how answer.

“I’M COCOBOT,” it replied.

Nina’s voice caught, her lips moving as sound refused to leave. How was this even happening.

_Why_ was this happening?

“Why do you have a robot of me?” Coco still had no issues finding her voice, it seemed. The mist of confusion faded, replaced by something hardier. “Why is she fetching you drinks?”

“BECAUSE MY SWEETIE IS STRESSED,” it answered back, a beaming smile plastered on its face. “AND I WILL DO ANYTHING I CAN TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER.”

Oh God, this wasn’t happening. “S-Shut up! Stop talking!”

CocoBot did. Nina couldn’t find it in herself to breathe that perfect sigh of relief. Not with the very real eyes of Coco boring into the back of her skull.

She twisted her neck back, landing on a very anxious Coco. A string of disgust was slowly spready up through her face, tainting her otherwise soft features. Like a vile stain on another otherwise pristine work of art.

“I-I can explain this.” She didn’t need to explain. Nina Cortex did not need justify herself for anyone.

Why did it feel so important that she did right then, to Coco?

The look indignation Nina received back hurt, somewhere. “Oh, believe me, I’m waiting for one.”

“She’s used for practise.”

“ _Practise?_ Practising _what!?”_

Wait, no. No! “Get your mind out of the gutter! Battle practise, for fighting against you!”

“By having her fetch you iced tea!?”

“THIS MORNING I ALSO MADE HER RASPBERRY AND WHITE CHOCOLATE PANCAKES.”

Nina sneered, her teeth grit tight together _. “Shut. Up!”_

It was official. Today; today was the worst day.

It would never _not_ be the worst day.

Coco’s eyes wandered over CocoBot, catching something of terribly particular interest. “Are those my clothes!?”

Shit.

Fuck, shit. No! “No, they’re not–“

“Yes, they are. I lost those dungarees weeks ago!”

Last week. It… it was only last week. But Nina doubted now was the time to try and argue that point. It wouldn’t do much for her argument, and she doubted it would do much to defuse the situation.

Could she defuse the situation?

Was there any point?

“You’re stealing my clothes and putting them on a _robot_ of me!?”

“You make that sound like a bad thing!”

“It _is_ a bad thing! It’s a _creepy_ thing!”

Nina was evil; she knew that. She prided herself on that, above all else. She had gone to one of the finest evil institutions in the world… for a few years. She had graduated top of _every_ class at Evil Public School. She had dominated in each and every subject over her peers. She outclassed every one of them in every conceivable way.

She had broken records. She had been better than the _teachers._ She was beyond even her uncle and the rabble of idiots he claimed to be his scientific equals.

She was _scary._

She _was_ creepy.

But hearing that from Coco Bandicoot didn’t feel the same as all of that. It grew a new weight in her stomach, a suffocating tightness in her chest. Like liquid rock growing up and around something small and fragile.

That must have been entirely obvious, because that was the moment CocoBot chose to wrap its arms around Nina’s chest and pull her in tight. Its head leaned comfortably on Nina’s shoulder, yet in the moment, the contact only made Nina’s skin itch.

Nina’s fingers locked in place, petrified at this contact she couldn’t stand.

Why was it so different to what she had planned?

“YOU’RE SO STRESSED. IT’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU, SWEETIE.” Nina was ready to speak up again, but she wasn’t given the chance. “WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO RUN YOU A BATH? YOU DESERVE IT.”

“She runs you baths!?”

Nina’s rebuttal was immediate, even if it was weaker than soggy toilet paper. “She doesn’t get _in_ the bath.”

“Oh yeah, because that makes it all sound _so_ much better.”

“I told you; this isn’t what it looks like!”

“Then what does it look like? I think it looks like you’ve built a creepy robot and dressed it my stolen clothes!”

Nina wanted an out. Any out.

Something that would resolve this issue without embarrassment or further humiliation. In the moment, with Coco staring her down and CocoBot wrapped around her back, her mind came up empty.

Caught between a rock and a hard place.

“Yeah, it _looks_ bad when you say it like that, but–“

“Tell me what’s going on, then!”

“I–“ Nina didn’t owe Coco anything.

Fuck it.

Fuck it! “I like… you.”

Nina shifted her shoulders, nudging herself out of CocoBot’s embrace. Silent though her request was, the robot relented without question.

The air went still in a pregnant pause, the sounds of even the jungle growing silent in the aftermath of what Nina had said.

Thankfully, Coco chose to end it.

“You… like me?” Coco’s brow furrowed; her eyes focused on the ground. “Like, _like_ like me?”

It would have been easy enough to change tactics. Say something new or deny that what she’d said was true. Or turn the whole thing on its head and play it off as some new evil scheme.

Not that there seemed to be any point in denying it now. How much worse could Nina make herself look at this point?

“Yeah…”

Not pathetic at all.

“And your first instinct was to _steal my clothes and make a robot?_ ”

“Well–“

“What am I even meant to do with this?” Coco asked, a hand combing roughly through her hair. “Why didn’t you just talk to me? Or something!”

“Yeah, because that would have worked out so well for me.”

“It would have worked out better than whatever this is!”

Nina couldn’t deny that, not now. She would have never instigated such a conversation. Nor had she given the thought of even trying the time of day. The growing knot in her stomach only reminded her of why.

“Like you would have been happy to hear that I liked you.”

“You don’t know that!”

She… how interesting. “You’re saying you would have reciprocated how I feel?”

“I– no, I’m not… I don’t know,” she eventually admitted after a long, deep sigh. “I don’t know. How am I supposed to feel? You stole my clothes and made a creepy robot.”

Yeah, but she didn’t need to keep going on about it.

“I’m evil. I do _evil_ things.”

“This isn’t evil, this is just unhealthy.”

Nina clicked her tongue against her teeth. “You sound just like my uncle.”

Coco’s eyes rolled up to the sky. “So even Cortex thinks this weird. Great. Good to know he has at least _some_ standards.”

“He made you, didn’t he?”

Nina had begun to crack a smirk, but Coco’s even stare only urged it back into the slimy depths from whence it came. “Not the time, Nina.”

“R-Right…”

With her first attempt at flirting very much resulting in a bust, Nina decided to keep herself quiet, at least for a time. She doubted there was anything she could say that could permeate whatever made up the tension in the air. It was something thick, almost palpable in how it weighed her down.

She couldn’t move, but neither could she make a move without more information.

She could only wait for Coco to say something. Ideally, something positive.

Coco pressed both palms into her eyes, pulling in as deep a breath as she could manage before letting it all out. It brought something close to a calm over her, if only for a moment. “What do _you_ want out of this, Nina?”

That… hadn’t been what Nina thought would happen next. She had expected further arguments, further berating about her dubious life choices. The world was broken between them and unlikely to be the same as it once was. Even her plans to mine out the temple felt solely unimportant compared to the moment in which she now found herself.

And Coco was asking how she felt.

Was this normal for these sorts of situations? Was this how the good guys treated confessions and crushes? Why wasn’t Coco saying how she felt?

Why wasn’t she saying why it would never work?

“W-What do you mean?”

“I’ll ignore the creepy robot. I’ll even ignore the fact that you _stole my clothes_. Just… explain to me what you want.”

… What did Nina want?

Had she even thought about something that far ahead? Confessing her feelings had never seemed important; it was a doomed effort before it even began. Why would she think about what came after?

Did Nina even know _what_ came after that?

“I don’t know what I want.” Honesty. That was important in these situations, right? She’d already fucked up whatever chances she had at _having a chance_. Might as well go all in at this point. “I just… I know I like you as more than an archenemy.”

“That could mean anything, Nina. Friends, acquaintances, more than friends–“

“I’d prefer the more than friends thing,” Nina stuttered. “That’s more what I was going for.”

Nina doubted she would be good at either. Friends. It was such a prissy concept to her, after all the years spent at Madame Amberly’s. Then the patch of time spent at Evil Public School. As different as they both were, the moral behind each institution was ultimately the same.

Evil.

Evil didn’t teach you about _friends_. It certainly didn’t teach you about any fluffy concepts even remotely close to _love_.

Not that Nina assumed she was infected with love. Love was a stronger thing; that much she knew. But what she felt now was still different. It tugged at her in directions that she didn’t even know she could be pulled.

Now she was being forced to go along with the ride.

Yet, for all Nina had trudged through to get to this point, Coco’s face struggled to choose a single reaction. Her lips shifted as words refused to leave, and her eyes flittered between Nina and the robot stood behind her. Nina turned with her, to see CocoBot still standing, still dutiful. A beaming smile on its face as it merely waited like a child on its turn to talk in school.

The smile had been precisely crafted. Nina had made sure to get it as close to how she imagined Coco’s smile as she physically could.

Now, it felt especially artificial. A doll with a painted face.

“Let me just get this straight in my head,” Coco eventually sighed. “You want to go straight from enemies to, like… dating? Girlfriends?”

Girlfriend.

That was a strong word. It felt too potent, too rich being used to describe anything close to Nina Cortex. Or to Coco in relation to her.

But Nina couldn’t deny the appeal of such potency. It swelled something in her. A catalyst for some divine chemical reaction.

“Yes,” Nina replied, confidently. “Uncle suggested I could kidnap you or something – which I did consider before I built the robot!”

“That’s not _better_ than building a robot.”

“Yeah, I know that _now._ I _thought_ I could kidnap you, but then you wouldn’t really be… with me. I _thought_ if I built a robot and programmed it to like me, then it would be better than nothing.”

“Instead of just asking me out?” her words were flat, disbelieving.

“Would you have said yes?” Nina asked back, quicker than she perhaps should have.

Coco didn’t reply back quickly, however. Her body stopped, that airy confusion drifting towards something more solid. Nina didn’t know which emotion it was shifting towards, but something was forming within Coco Bandicoot.

“I–I don’t know,” eventually came. “I’d have needed– I _do_ need to think about it. About this.”

That wasn’t a no.

Despite the CocoBot stood behind Nina, despite the stealing and the thoughts of kidnapping… it wasn’t a no.

It was unknown territory. It was frightening, even by Nina’s standards.

Both left the temple grounds, then. A few words shared that neither really listened to as they returned to their own little worlds. Nina collected her hovercraft, followed closely by CocoBot, who had apparently commandeered her own.

It still held the cup of lemon iced tea, perfectly balanced despite the trip to the temple and back. If nothing else, it spoke highly of its creation. And its creator.

At the same time, the robot merely felt like a black reminder of where Nina had gone wrong.

Hopefully, her little failed experiment wouldn’t cost her the end result.


	2. Coco Bandicoot

As Coco stood at front door of Cortex’s iceberg lair, one single thought permeated the entirety of her mind.

_This is insane_.

The day had gone about as far from her expectations as was physically possible. Coco had only tried to investigate the robots that Papu had seen at the temple. She thought she’d been doing him a favour.

So much for being a good neighbour. Now she had Nina…

She had Nina?

She had Nina doing whatever it was that Nina was doing. The robot, the stolen clothes? Neither had been on Coco’s list of things she ever thought she would find out about, today or otherwise.

Nina _liking_ her even more so.

What did that even mean to someone like Nina Cortex? There’d been no hints or attempts at awkward flirting. It had been business as usual. Fighting, outdoing. Beating the living snot out of each other. There’d been zero indication that Nina felt anything more than hatred for Coco.

Or maybe Coco wasn’t as smart as she had thought she was.

Either way, she was still in front of Cortex’s lab. She was still looking at the front door, trying to decipher what her next action would result in.

Did she knock?

Did she leave?

Neither choice felt quite like the right one, for reasons that Coco wasn’t sure she wanted to consider. Both would change the outcome of her visit, and how Nina and Coco treated each other going forward.

“Alright. Here we go.”

Coco knocked. There was no obvious bell, or button she was meant to press. Did evil lairs even have many visitors? You would need to know you were going there if you were using the front door, right?

When it opened, Cortex was stood there. Rather than surprise at her presence, he simply looked at Coco with an air of bored irritation.

“Is this a business or a social call?”

“Uh… social? Is Nina here–”

His continence immediately changed, as if he’d finally woken up from a long dream. “Please tell me you’re here about the robot.”

Coco _was not_ bonding with Cortex over Nina’s stupid robot. She refused! “Kinda?”

He gave out a heavy sigh of a relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I don’t care what you do. You can marry her for all I care. Just please make her get rid of the robot. Or change its skin, or something. I’m perfectly supportive of her having no friends but this is just too weird.”

Refusal to bond aside, she couldn’t help but agree with him completely. And maybe he could be useful.

“Is… do you know what this whole thing is about?” Coco tentatively asked.

“Look, I keep out of her business and she keeps out of mine. It’s the best part about being an evil fath– uncle! An evil uncle,” he swiftly corrected. “And quite frankly, I hate you. But if she’s going to insist on pining for you, I would prefer she actually pined after _you_ and not a robot she has fetch her drinks.”

That made some sort of sense, Coco supposed. “Is the robot actually that bad?”

“Not really. I’m pretty sure she’s just using it as a coping mechanism for having no social skills.”

Oh. “That’s… very observant of you.”

“I’m an evil scientist, not an evil idiot.” Quite debatable, Coco thought. “You can’t be evil or a scientist without putting the hours in. That includes study into mental health. And _destroying_ it.”

“Right… I see.” He cared for Nina, then. In some strange, twisted way than Coco doubted she would ever completely understand. “So, can I see her?”

“Oh yes! By all means,” he replied. “Up the stairs, right, left. Up the second set of stairs, and then second on your right. If you hit the big blue metal door, do not go in there. It will kill you. And I’d rather you spoke to Nina first.”

Coco did as she was told, wary as she was. She eyed Cortex the entire way towards the stairs, suddenly sure the whole ordeal with Nina was some elaborate trap set up to catch her off-guard.

“I mean, do feel free to go into the blue door before you leave,” he eventually added, taking himself over to a living area and the large couch within it. “If it doesn’t kill you, it will at least give a head start on defeating you the next time we meet.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Spare for the heavy themes of metal and scientific discovery, the innards of the lair were entirely mundane. Hallways were hallways, layered with carpet and with assorted furniture in various corners. It was entirely separate from the parts she had snuck into on previous visits. They had been purely metal and rife with pipes. They had been utilitarian. Fit for purpose.

These areas were for living in.

The rooms she passed on the way to Nina’s were unlabelled. Compared to those in the main laboratory, they were a known factor; places within the homestead that those living there knew without questions.

Even the living area Coco had seen downstairs felt personal. Larger than anything she was used to, granted. But a living area, nonetheless.

Yet, she still couldn’t imagine Cortex or Nina lazing around, eating popcorn and watching television.

Perhaps she would see it, if she got to know Nina better?

That was the crux of the whole visit though, wasn’t it? If she wanted to get to know Nina better.

Nina Cortex was… difficult to pinpoint down. At least in Coco’s head. She was unabashedly cruel, very much willing to destroy what others had if it benefitted her. She would throw her granny under a bus if it meant she got what she wanted.

She had done as much to Cortex in the past, now that Coco thought about it.

She was evil. She had _studied_ to be evil and excelled at it, if her own boasting was to be believed. Aku once claimed her to be even worse than Cortex.

Yet she was intelligent. Vastly intelligent. Sure, she had required Coco for input on various robots over the years, kidnapping her and forcing assistance, but she was by far one of the best minds that Coco was aware of. She was beaten by the likes or Tropy, perhaps. But no one else that Coco could name.

She didn’t take crap from anyone, either. No one kidnapped Nina Cortex. No one would dare, and that was more than could be said about Coco, even if she was loathed to admit to it. She was leagues further above Tawna.

Nina had built her own hands.

Nina was competent enough to do her own dirty work, if it came down to it.

Nina was brave enough to fall headfirst into new experiences, even if they were evil ones. Dangerous ones.

…Nina liked Coco.

That was the strangest part. This big ball of ego and evil, one that had the potential to end the world if she put in the time and effort… liked Coco Bandicoot. And had been scared to approach her about it.

Because she _had_ been scared. Coco could take all of Nina’s admissions at the temple as gospel, and she would still arrive at that solution. You did not consider kidnapping your crush or building a robot of her because you were sure of yourself. You did those things because you thought they were the best you were going to get.

Even with their current relationship, their rivalry, Coco didn’t see Nina as the sort of person who would back down from a challenge. Not against someone she regularly tried to kill with giant robots.

And yet, here they were. Coco going to her room, Nina still waiting for some sort of answer.

Was Nina nervous? Was she scared of what Coco would say? Was she worried about their rivalry and what would happen to it as a consequence of all this coming out?

Cortex was also very casual about Nina liking Coco. Was she _out_? How did the gay chat even work in evil families? Or did it work exactly the same? With risk and reward and horrible uncertainty?

Another glitch in the evil matrix.

Did someone like Nina Cortex come out to Cortex? Or was she always out and he simply had to deal with it? The latter would have seemed like the only option until yesterday, but now Coco was not sure. She hadn’t never pictured Nina as someone remotely close to shy…

But she apparently could be.

She could be everything that a normal girl was. Just evil.

Before she even realised it, she was at the second door on the right. Unlike all the others, this one did have a label. Or sorts.

Nina’s name was graffitied on the door, along with several skulls and an extended middle finger. One that belonged to one of her hands, if the design was anything to go by. The paint spread to the wall, not adhering to the borders of the door and claiming much of the surrounding hallway.

_At least I know this is the right door._

Another knock, just as mundane as the one outside. This time it felt heavier, however. More real.

Even more so when the door opened.

“Thought it was you,” Nina said.

“How come?”

“We’re evil. Uncle doesn’t knock.”

Of course. “Isn’t that– doesn’t that mean you have no privacy?”

“We’re evil, not monsters; he screams from downstairs if he wants me.

“Right, of course he does. Can I come in?”

Nina looked ready to sass her back again. To make some little comment, likely about why Coco wouldn’t be allowed to come into her room, having just ventured through an entire house.

But she thought better of it, just nodding her head and wandering back inside.

At home, Coco’s room was organised chaos, for lack of a better term. Everything had a place, even if that place was on the floor. She would not call it messy; she couldn’t just leave everything where it fell and be done with it. But calling it clean or anything close to that would be a disservice.

Nina’s room was the opposite. Everything had a place, and everything seemed to be tucked away in that place already. The room was large, spread with black furniture and dark colours. Machines and devices sat on tables, taking up more space than Coco would think comfortable. But it still all sat in its place.

In the centre of the room was CocoBot, her legs crossed over and the back of her head wide open. Several tools littered the floor at her side, the only things close to a mess the room had to offer.

“What you doing to CocoBot?”

Nina turned her head to look, as if she had no idea on the subject in question. She turned her head back, shrugging. “Reprogramming.”

Obvious that nothing else was going to be offered, Coco decided it was time to bite the bullet.

“About yesterday,” Coco began. “I’m not sure how I feel about you stealing my stuff. Or building the robot…” A quick glance at CocoBot confirmed something, however. “I am a little glad you’re not just keeping it, though.”

“Didn’t see much point.”

“What do you mean?”

“Either you say something good today and I don’t need it, or you say something crap and I’ll hate the sight of it.”

“I suppose that makes sense. Did you know I was coming?”

“You’re too nice to leave things like this hanging too long. Plus, it was going to happen eventually.”

Both logical answers. Very much like Nina.

“In that case I suppose you want to hear what I have to say.”

Nina laughed, from the corner of her mouth. A burst of air, if nothing else. “That would make my life easier.”

“Okay. I’ve been… thinking.” Far too much. “And like I said, I’m not sure how I feel about the robot. Or the clothes. Which I am taking back, by the way.”

Nina shrugged again. “Fair.”

“But…” Coco continued. She took particular note of Nina’s posture; it stiffened, briefly. The click of her gauntlets as they fought back clenching tighter, and her neck going rigid in an instant. “I think you’re smart. And driven. And you don’t take crap from anyone.”

Coco waited for a comment. None came.

She continued, slowly. “I would need to see more of that before I made any definitive choices. Um, like… I’d need to get to know you outside of kicking your butt. And stuff.”

“You want to go on a date”

“I didn’t– I never said that,” Coco rebutted. But the question dwelled. “Maybe. Eventually. But I need to know you outside of what we have now. Away from the robots and taking over the islands and… stuff.”

“My question remains the same; you want to go on a date?”

“Is that you asking for confirmation, or asking me to actually go out with you?”

Nina paused. “The second one.” Then she seemed to think on something else. “If you would like.”

“Trying to be nice, now?”

“It hurts like a bitch, trust me. But I’ve come this far.”

Which was further than Coco ever thought she’d see Nina Cortex go for something as simple as a crush.

Never let it be known that Coco Bandicoot didn’t try new things. Or experiment. “I would very much like it if we went on a date.”

Nina’s fist clenched properly, this time. “Nice. CocoBot, congratulate me.”

It remained silent, only managing to give Nina a thumbs up.

“You’re still getting rid of that.” In whatever form that took.

But Nina was quick to reply, her voice growing stilted and robotic. “Anything for you, Sweetie.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Dreams, Mechanical hands and Cocobot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690436) by [Clocksmith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clocksmith/pseuds/Clocksmith), [Fyrefox666](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyrefox666/pseuds/Fyrefox666)




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